While putting up lights I came to one section of one string that was not lighting up. So I plopped myself down in the front lawn with the string and a handful of replacement bulbs.
Lucy was playing nearby and came over to help.
“How long is this going to take dad?” She asked.
“Well,” I responded, “I’m going to change each bulb all the way to the end to see which one is the problem.”
“This is the dumbest work ever,” she concluded.
Lucy and I are not cut out to be Christmas elves.
In the aftermath of the holiday, it becomes clear. It is not the retailers who are behind the commercialization of Christmas. It is the trash bag manufacturers.
I am a difficult person for whom do buy presents, mostly because I am a difficult person in general. I return all clothing that is bought for me on principle. My parents know this well. So, this year, they made me a small shirt and tie out of five one dollar bills (complete with small rock tie clip, and buttons attached at the bottom). This proves three things.
1. My parents have too much time on their hands.
2. My parents are really out of touch with the inflation of clothing prices since the mid 1930s.
3. My mom and dad love me! (Love you too mom and dad!)
For a few weeks now, Kathleen has been asking for a puppy for Christmas. In response, I have repeatedly explained to her the many reasons why she really does not want a puppy. Inevitably, the conversation ends with me telling her that, no matter how much she wants a puppy, we are not getting one. She then usually moves to expressing her exasperation with me in the way that only a six year old can.
Today, Kathleen told me she was going to go write something, and she sat down at her little table and pulled out her crayon. A minute later, she came over to her mother and I with a paper reading: “Dad i wat a pupee. Jesus (Dad I want a puppy. Jesus)”
Her mother and I looked at each other, wondering when our daughter had started using Jesus’ name as an expression of frustration. Thankfully, before we were able to respond, she told us that there was more on the back of the paper. We turned it over to find written: “is in r hrt (is in our heart).”
Cute kid, that one, and lucky she told us to keep reading.
Gingerbread is the hardtack of the holiday season.
Stage 2 of operation “Put House Christmas Lights Up” is complete!
To be fair, I am hoping it looks better in the dark.