Our little sailor

Lucy has been learning about bad language recently. Last week there was a discussion with mom about the use of the middle finger as a means of communication. Jennifer told her that it was like a bad word. But when Lucy asked exactly what it meant, Jennifer demurred.

Today Lucy was listening to a Lady Gaga song that raised further questions. She just turned to me and asked: “What does bitch mean?”

“Well,” I replied, “It’s a bad word.”

So Lucy raised her middle finger and asked: “Does bitch mean the same thing as this?”

I about fell out of my chair.



I asked my daughters what superpower they would want if they could only have one. Their answers were anything but typical.

Kathleen wants the power to move stars around to make new constellations and real shooting stars (not just those silly meteor knock offs). She would be called “Star Mover.”

Lucy wants the power to make rainbows in any shape or size come out of her hands. She would be called “Rainbow Girl.”

I think the world might be a better place if it were run by little girls.

Crisis of Faith

Discussion in the car on the ride home from preschool.

Lucy (age 5): Dad, who built the world?

Me: Well, that is kind of like asking who built a tree. Trees grow, they aren’t built. We can say that God made them.

Lucy: But God isn’t real.

Me: God isn’t real?!?

Lucy: No. When we pray for things, God doesn’t give them.

Me: Like what?

Lucy: Like I wanted a bunny rabbit, and I wanted mommy to have flowers for mother’s day, and I wanted a toy.

Me: But there are bunnies who live in our yard, and Kathleen got flowers for mommy for mother’s day. So it looks like you got what you wanted.

Lucy: But I didn’t get a toy.

Me: You have LOTS of toys. Maybe too many!

Lucy: Stop talking about God dad.

Me: Ok Lucy.

Smelly Pirates

Last night, I was reading aloud Pirates Past Noon (from the Magic Tree House series) with Kathleen.

On one page, the pirate Cap’n Bones searches the young protagonist’s backpack only to find a book there. In my best pirate voice, I read: “A book. That’s vile booty!”

Kathleen’s eyes almost popped out of her head as she broke into wild belly laughs. She literally lost control of herself. I know because in the midst of her chuckling fit she passed gas loudly. Then, continuing to laugh so hard she was beginning cry, she managed to exclaim: “I just pooted with MY booty!”

For the record, it was vile.

Mommy Remote


When I picked Lucy up today, she was very excited to show this to me. She currently draws people as heads with legs, so I thought it was just a person. I asked “Who is it?” She replied “Mommy, but you see all these dots?” “Yes,” I replied. “They are buttons,” she told me, “This is a Mommy Remote.” I thought for a second, “You mean that by pushing the buttons you can control mommy?” “Yes!” she responded.

So, I am totally going to have to borrow that from her now!