Your Voice Nourishes Me

Kathleen and Lucy are watching “Bunk’d” a Disney show set at a camp. Its aimed at kids, but sometimes jokes require some advanced knowledge. In this episode a sheep is giving birth. After the lamb emerges, one of the girls in the show says: “Oh, and look, it comes with a leash.” At that point I overhear the following conversation.

Lucy: “What is the leash?”

Kathleen: “Oh, they are talking about the vocal cord. It goes from the mommy to the baby and gives the baby food. It goes in where your belly button is. On some animals, it hangs around for a while before falling off.”

Such a fascinating mixture of knowledge and confusion.

Dessert with a side of wit

After school, Kathleen was lobbying for a treat, claiming that since it was the last day of State testing today she deserved one. She thought we should get pastries at the store.

Jennifer responded that we need to get away from junk food.

Supporting my wife I reinforced: “Yes. We should resolve to eat better.”

“No,” Kathleen responded with a smile in her voice, “We should resolve to eat donuts.”

Quite frankly, I am surprised that Jennifer was not converted by this sly use of wordplay.

Our First Born

Do you ever have those times when you try to say something about one of your kids, but the other kids name comes out?

Tonight as we were getting ready for dinner, Jennifer asked if Lucy had been fed. She didn’t mean Lucy. She meant Clyde. For those who do not know, Clyde is our cat.

Hard of Hearing

This morning as Kathleen and I walked out of the door to head to school, Lucy emerged from the hallway carrying her shoes and socks in her hand.

“You don’t have your shoes and socks on yet?” I queried.

“NO!” Lucy threw herself on the floor and proceeded to pull her socks as if trying to get her feet to shoot out the other side. “I told you three hundred times that I needed help to get them on,” she said with obvious disdain while simultaneously putting on her socks and shoes without any help.

“Wow. Three hundred times. I must have missed that.”

At that, Lucy leaned her face forward and brought her pupils as close as possible to her forehead. “It’s like you don’t have ears.” She paused. “That’s what mom says!”

It’s funny, because I don’t remember hearing her mother ever say that. But it does sound a lot like her …

On a side note, my mother will enjoy this story because I have heard her say things like this. It’s almost like everyone around me just talks too quietly.

The Tyrant on the High Bars

We usually have a good 40 minutes between pick up at the girl’s school and when Lucy has to be at gymnastics. Plenty of time to get home, have a snack, watch an episode of some show, and then leisurely make our way to the car.

On some Wednesdays, when needed, we pick up another gymnastics girl (Mazie) at school and ferry her to our house and then to gymnastics. She is one grade above Kathleen and Kathleen and Lucy have made friends with her throughout the year, basically on the basis of the time that they spend together in transit. She gets ready for gymnastics at school, which slows us a few minutes. But in general she is faster moving than my 7 year old, so it doesn’t slow us much.

This morning, however, Lucy decided that she wanted to be like Mazie. She wanted to put her leotard on at school. I tried to explain to her that this was really not necessary. That this would require her putting her leo in her back pack, having it with her all day, and then changing in a public restroom. All the while the other option would be coming back to her own room where, with no special preparation, she would find her leotard hanging and be able to change in private while everyone else sat comfortably in the living room.

Lucy was hearing none of it. Thus it was that Kathleen, Mazie, and I found ourselves standing in a warm Elementary School hallway waiting for Lucy to emerge from the bathroom having changed out of her clothes, put on her leotard, then put her clothes back on over the top of the leotard. And from there we went to our house.

We now have only about fifteen minutes at home before leaving for gymnastics. I am still unclear on whether Lucy is going to take her over-clothes off again before heading out. But doubtless she will eventually tell me. After all, she is clearly the one in charge here. #HeldHostageBySevenYearOldLogic

Easter Eggs and Hash Browns

Jennifer asked what we should have for Easter dinner.

Kathleen responded that we should have breakfast for dinner. Because: “Easter is about new life and new beginnings and breakfast is what you eat at the beginning of a new day.”

Now, I’m sure that Kathleen was just riffing in order to get what she wanted for dinner. But that’s not a half bad theological justification for eating bacon in the afternoon. So we are going with it.